Questioning Your Sexuality

Dealing with questioning your sexuality can be an incredibly confusing and sometimes scary time, depending on the support you may have, to what country you live in, to how open those around you are to the idea of identifying as any sexuality that is not straight. Some people may know from a relatively young age that they are homosexual, bisexual, asexual or perhaps something else.

People are coming out at a younger age than ever before due to increased awareness, openness and information about the LGBT community. There is far more acceptance in many countries than there was even 30 years ago. Though homosexuality is still criminalized and gay marriage is not legal in many countries yet, overall globally, we have come a long way and pockets of society are seeing sexuality in a more fluid way than ever before.

This also means more people may be questioning their sexual identity more openly than before and they are accepting that sexuality is not static and can change even after many years with partners of just one gender. Conversely, older people may just feel comfortable in exploring different aspects of their sexuality now that society is more open to the idea.

We may explore our sexuality by getting either physically intimate with a different gender or dating a different gender. We may find ourselves attracted to people who are androgynous or non-binary. We may surprise ourselves with just how fluid our own sexuality can be and the different types of people we may fall in love with.

It can make us feel anxious stepping out of the traditionally accepted norm because we may not understand how we’re feeling ourselves.  But it can feel worse repressing or holding in a desire of love or passion and not being able to openly express it. If acting on this positive, ecstatic loving feeling means you could find happiness with a loved one, and you think the other person may just reciprocate, go for your chances of love. Even if it’s not what you expected, it could be the start of something beautiful.

Even if the person in question doesn’t like you back, at least this crush will allow you to get to know yourself better. You can shout from the rooftops ‘I fancy Channing Tatum and Naomi Scott’ with certainty and label yourself as bisexual or pansexual. Or not label yourself.

You can know with certainty you have crushes on a plethora of genders and not have to label it any type of way, which again is completely fine. You can like a multitude of boys and your breath will be taken away by just one girl that will make you question everything. THAT’S OK. Or you will realize you aren’t sexually or romantically attracted to anyone at all. THAT’S OK TOO. You are still valid in the sexuality you are born with, later discover as part of yourself and identify with.

You can question it in a country where a daringly vibrant rainbow invites more raised eyebrows and aggression. You might not be able to be open about it, but your thoughts and desires cannot be controlled. You might fear persecution for questioning it louder than a whisper, but you can question it quietly, to yourself as your figure out what your heart is telling you.

There are many journeys and paths to questioning your sexuality, therefore the destination you arrive at with it, will appear different to other people. This is why one person arriving at their local Pride parade dressed head to toe in rainbow themed attire and another person privately accepting their non-heteronormative sexuality as part of them are more similar than their outward appearance might suggest, because inwardly they have both persevered through journeys of self-acceptance.